Harshest Critic

"Spiritual growth is like childbirth. You dilate, then you contract. You dilate, then you contract again. As painful as it all feels, its the necessary rhythm for reaching the ultimate goal of total openness." 
Marianne Williamson

Harshest critic - you do realize that I am talking about you, right? I am. I am also talking about me…and every other person with an ego.

Just to clarify, I refer to ego as the part of you created by society, culture, and your family and life experiences. It is your “false self.”

I don’t consider it the true you.

The “soul self”, your authenticity, is entirely different.

Yet it is your ego that is the one usually speaking behind your fake smile- when you are listening when you don’t want to, or agreeing even when you disagree, or judging yourself for the former, or judging anyone else, for that matter.

As I mentioned in my first post, I recently attended a conference through Hay House. I was able to experience Dr. Wayne Dyer in person. Wow. When you meet a person who has evolved their human consciousness in such a profound way, it is moving.

One of the many things that struck a chord was when he said; "Even the darkest threads in our tapestry of life contribute to its beauty."

We are not perfect, yet we pretend it. Then we judge ourselves for it.

Embrace your imperfection – we all have it!

You are not alone!

Love yourself through your imperfection– evolution is a process of expanding and contracting.

Some days you are feeling the love and you are open and aware and aligned.

Other days, everybody is “making” you mad. You give your power away and hold onto the illusion that some future mental construct you have created will fulfill you in every way possible.

You think that happiness is outside of you.

So I say to you today, there are no "mistakes"-only "learning".

Quit judging yourself.

Expanding Through Fear

“When I let go of who I am, I become who I might be.” Lao Tzu

We recently acquired a dog that has a history of abuse and neglect. He is a beautiful red lab, with kind, butterscotch eyes and a tail that doesn't quit. I was told that he was physically and emotionally abused by an old farmer. He was kept for long periods of time in a very small crate. He is terrified of shovels, sticks and loud noises, so I don’t doubt he has firsthand knowledge of the painful aspects of those items. Despite those lessons in anger and pain, he radiates love. He is full of love and the desire to be loved. All “Porter” wants is to be together- and a good belly rub every now and again.

The farmer later died of cancer. I wonder how much of his abuse was his fear and anger projected onto this big, beautiful boy. I've always thought that “hurting people hurt people” (or in this case, a dog).

So now the newest member of our family is trying to navigate what it means to be a part of a family; the noises that the kids make, dropped pots, rakes, and how to get in and out of a car, among other things.

It struck me that even though he is never in any danger with us, and his heart knows true love, it is his past experiences that have broken his trust. He sees the world through a window of negative experiences. His fear holds him back from fully experiencing love, trust and faith in any of us.

I see the bigger picture; I know that certain things won’t hurt him, that it is just his irrational fear. I know that to be able to truly enjoy and immerse himself in the joy of being, he has to let go of the fear. He would love to go cross country skiing with me, if he could look past the fear of the ski poles, but he can’t even get out of the back of my SUV.

It makes me realize that we all do this in our own way. I think about all the ways I limit my reality due to my fear.  I look at others and wonder how they are keeping themselves from full joy. How much do you hold yourself back out of fear made manifest from past experiences? How much is the Universe pushing you to evolve and move forward, yet those past experiences tell you that you cannot?

Why are you listening?

We can see that Porter’s fears are irrational and that he would have a totally different life experience if he would just trust his path and move forward in faith.

How is your relationship with Spirit any different?

In the infinite wisdom of all that IS, you will never be led astray if you move forward in faith.

When you hold onto fear and deny love (which is what you are at your core-your true essence) then you make a choice to turn away from your power. You turn away from that part of you that is connected to the Universe, with all of Its Divine Knowledge and Understanding.  You turn away from your Source. You are saying “no” to your authentic path.

I really see Porter’s potential to be a therapy dog, but it will never happen if he cannot let go of his fear and learn to trust me. He will either choose to stay in his “crate of fear” (where he hides when he is afraid) and limit his experiences, or learn to trust my plan for him and have the opportunity to experience unlimited love and healing.

You have a choice too. Move forward in faith. Allow yourself to EXPAND. You are the only one holding yourself back.