Pesky Patterns...Break Them in 4 Steps

We all have them. You may or may not have noticed, but because of the way my brain analyzes (and over-analyzes) all of life's experiences, today I bring it to your attention.

Think of something in your life that keeps happening even though you may not want it to. Something that comes up for you. It may be something you feel like you have already gone through in your life. You thought you learned from it and moved on, then BAM! There it is again.

Hello pesky pattern.

It can be something no one else knows about, something you judge yourself for or something you just wish you could understand so that you could change it.

These patterns arise from your ego; the part of you that is identified with your human form, your mind-made self that disconnects you from your Higher Power.

Some examples of common egoic patterns are:

*Feeling like you are not enough.
*Feeling like you don't deserve to receive something.
*Trying to meet your emotional needs through someone else.
*Thinking something outside of yourself will make you feel complete.
*Comparing yourself to others.
*Regretting something from your past/judging yourself.
*Holding yourself in contempt.
*Judging others or projecting your feelings of lack of self worth onto someone else.
*A lack of personal power (which usually manifests as frequent illness or catastrophes).

Personally, I have experienced all of these at some time or another, some more frequently in my life than others.
They are a part of the human condition.
You can choose to stay in these patterns, which is what the majority of people do, out of sense of helplessness or even comfort (the idea being even though you are unhappy with it, at least you know what to expect), or you can choose to learn from them.

If you choose to stay in that space or don't know what to do to change them, these pesky patterns will continue to play out in your life bringing up feelings like grief, anxiety, sadness-even deep depression, and the feeling of being "stuck." 

So there it is, your own pattern, welling up again. Something you thought was long gone has surfaced in your awareness. You thought that part of you was healed, reconciled for good. Then it arrives, that dreaded pattern, hitting you in your face – in your heart.  You can no longer deny it -you have to admit to the fact that you are in a similar situation as you were in before.

It's here no matter how much you sigh, pray, ignore or pull your hair out.

It looks at you and smiles, blowing you a kiss, inviting you down the same worn-out road. You try not to follow even though it feels like the easy thing to do- only because you know the outcome - you have taken that road so many times before.

Damn.

You resist, trying to talk yourself out of it- not wanting to be that person – not wanting to embrace that shadow self that is beneath the soul that is expanding and evolving.

You resist and the constriction gets worse.

Surrender they say.

How?

How do you release the guilt and self judgment knowing that the people in your life deserve better?
Knowing you deserve better.
Knowing if you fully believed that, this pattern would fail to be in existence for you. 

Albert Einstein said that you cannot change a pattern or situation using the same thinking that got you there in the first place.
Take that in for a moment.

You've got to shake things up and, most importantly, quit thinking it through until you can direct your thoughts in a more positive way.

4 Steps to Break Egoic Patterns:

1. Get Back to Balance
This is a crucial step.
I also sometimes refer to it as "getting grounded."
Find a way to get out of your head-nothing will get better by ruminating for hours on end. 
(Believe me, I have tried)
Escape your ego mind - that lying little voice that haunts your thoughts-by bringing yourself fully into the present moment.
Notice how you feel, listen to the sounds and bring awareness of everything into that moment.
You can do this by meditating, going outside, taking deep breaths, connecting with an animal, taking a walk, chewing your food slower or even a 5 minute power nap.
This allows you to get into "Alignment" with your Higher Power.
The more you can be in that space of love, peace and joy, the more you can create what you want and live a happier life in general.

2. Let the Self-Judgment Go
Self Judgement is useless.
Judging yourself takes you into a space that does not align you with your Divine power, making achieving what you want even more difficult.
The first part of creating what you want in life is to experience what you don't want.
That is called "contrast."
So no matter if you're experiencing the contrast for the first time, or the 5th time, or the 105th time, ACKNOWLEDGE that it is there WITHOUT JUDGMENT.

3. Focus on What You Want
The Law of Attraction will bring to you what your thoughts and feeling focus on.
It is important to think about what you want (not what you don't want) in order to draw it to you.
You have already focused on what you don't want - look how you created that with your patterns!
Now do the opposite!
I know this law got some bad press when everybody read "The Secret" and life didn't work out how they wanted, but remember it was written by humans. Humans with egos. 
So after you have cleared the way to open your awareness to your Higher Power, allow yourself to daydream, visualize, and fantasize about what you want or what your life could look like if there were no barriers.

4. Hold Joy 
This is very important.
Try to hold onto the positive emotions in thoughts, words, and deeds.
When you notice you are headed down the negative thinking road (where your pattern loves to hang out), try to redirect your thoughts - repeat step 1.
Staying positive will help you create what you want and patterns cannot hang out here because this is not where the ego is able to tread.
Do not try to create what you want when you are in a negative space. It will do the opposite and create what you don't want.

Some questions you may ask about patterns;

What if you're not ready to make the changes? (what if there is comfort in the expectation of the pattern?)
What if the answers you get in the time of balance are not what you want to hear?

I am certain you will know.
Give yourself time to settle into the knowing.

When you bounce back and forth between knowing and questioning yourself, recognize the expansion and contraction as a normal process. 
Quit being your worst enemy.

This pattern has much to teach you. You can learn and heal and expand into a higher perspective.

Here’s the thing- You feel the way you feel. 

It might not make sense. It may be wrong when looked at from someone else’s perspective, but regardless, this is where you're at. 
Don't resist.

This is coming into your awareness for a reason.

It is coming up because it needs to come up. 
Use it!
Lean into it, feel it without resistance so that you can move through it.

Align. Release. Learn. Allow. Grow. Expand.

The next time that pesky pattern tries to woo you, you can recognize it and choose something different, giving it the proverbial middle finger.